We were devastated, empty inside, and heartbroken beyond words.  I can travel in my mind back to those two dreadful mornings when I awoke and knew I was having a miscarriage.  Marrying later in life and being settled in our careers, we had dreamed of having children for so very long.  As tears flooded my pillow, I wanted to give up my dreams of a home filled with the laughter, voices, and screeches of joy of tiny little voices. 

 As the next few months passed, my husband and I had many conversations about trying to have children again.  He was not as discouraged as I and wanted to try again.  I eventually agreed, but only with the understanding that this would be our last "try."  My primary care physician had been a patient of Dr. Vasquez.  She had told me about him months prior to my miscarriages, but I never forgot his name. 

After meeting with Dr. Vasquez and enduring many tests, he determined that my hormones were not maintaining a sufficient level to support a pregnancy.  He advised us that an IUI procedure would be a good starting point for us.  I was still extremely hesitant and was having a hard time wrapping my mind around the possibility that there is no certainty in fertility treatments.  Was I going to be able to go through the procedure or procedures and maintain my emotions if I could not conceive or carry a baby to term? 

After many sleepless nights and a tremendous amount of prayer, God led me to a favorite passage in the book of Jeremiah.   He tells us that He "knows the plans he has for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV)."   

And that I did.  I sought Him and His will for my life with all of my heart.  I felt a tremendous peace in my soul about going ahead with the IUI procedure.  I asked many of my Christian friends to pray for us.  When I found out the day and time of our IUI appointment, I contacted each of my prayer partners and asked them to pray at that specific time.  Two weeks after our appointment, we found out that we were pregnant!  I was extremely excited, but had been down this road twice before.  I knew what could happen.  However, this experience was different.  I made a personal decision to redirect my worries and to place all of my trust in God.  When I found my mind wondering down the road of fear and doubt, I forced my thoughts to a screeching halt and turned them around!   

On January 22, 2008, our wonderful bundle of joy was born!  He was happy, healthy, and so much more than we deserved!  Each day since then has been a marvelous journey that has transformed my life and my walk with God.  I live each day knowing that our child is an answered prayer.  I know that he has a purpose for living and that God has a destination for him that only he was designed for! 

I recall telling one of my prayer partners that I could see the hand of God in Dr. Vasquez's work.  God's role in Dr. Vasquez's life is to help couples like us overcome medical barriers to having children.  I cannot offer the gratitude to Dr. Vasquez and his staff that is deserved.  They are wonderful people that accepted us, understood our fears, and led us through the most challenging trial in our lives thus far.

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